Do you sometimes feel like women are speaking a completely different language than you are? If so, you are right! Sociologists tell us that nearly 90% of our communication is non-verbal….meaning body language is responsible for the overwhelming majority of our communication.
This means that if you don’t learn to “speak” body language, you might be almost as crippled in your communication with women as someone who can’t hear. Wow! Looks like we’d better get into some of the crucial tips for mastering the art of body language…
First, Become Aware of Your Body
The first thing to do is to become more aware of what you’re doing with your body language when you’re communicating with people (both men and women). If you think you know, you’re wrong. [Read: How to get young women like you]
Most of us aren’t aware of our own body language the same way that a fish isn’t aware of water. You can start by paying attention to what you are doing with your hands when you’re standing still or when you’re talking to someone.
Are you nervously fidgeting with something, rubbing the back of your neck, crossing your arms when talking, checking your cell phone or something else that shows you are preoccupied?
If so, women don’t look at this and think: “He’s just nervous.” They’ll take it as a sign of disinterest or, even worse, insecurity.
And what about the position of your body as you are talking to someone. Do you turn away slightly as you’re talking to a woman? You might be doing this because you’re nervous…but again, she won’t read it that way. This is because when you’re speaking to a woman, she is looking for one thing more than anything else…
Body Language is About Presence
Do you know what women are looking for more than anything when they are reading your body language? Presence. They want to know that you are “there” with them. For most men, the concept of presence is completely foreign, but for women, it’s the deciding factor in whether or not a man is worth pursuing.
Have you even been around someone how was “emotionally absent” or withdrawn? How about when you were actually speaking to them? Maybe you knew this because they were looking at their cell phone, or fumbling with their keys or something else that shows they are removed from the interaction.
But remember that women are more intuitive than we are and they’re more sensitive to whether or not a man is “present” to the moment, or if he is elsewhere. So presence is not something that you can fake, you have to learn to actually be in the moment with her. [Read: How to convince a woman that you are the man]
Here are some things that will help:
1) Look Her in The Eye
Just don’t stare her down. This does more than tell her that you are present with her, it helps you to actually become present. It will also keep you from staring at her breasts or something else on her body.
2) Listen to Her
There’s more to this than most people realize. Listening to her means turning off your “inner dialogue” and listening without thinking about what you’re going to say next, analyzing what she’s saying or (the big momentum killer) waiting for your turn to talk.
3) Light Touches
Just be sure that these are non-threatening and playful at first. You can even start by touching one of her possessions like a ring, her cell phone, or something that she is wearing. This shows that you are comfortable with being near her and confident.