Every man who has some experience with Tinder knows the following situation: you see a beautiful woman on Tinder and swipe her to the right. Actually, you think she will be out of your league, but then you unexpectedly suddenly have a match with that woman. You open the chat and… you don’t know what to say. Or worse, you say something and she doesn’t respond.
How do I know exactly which questions are suitable to keep a Tinder conversation going and which are not? Today I will try to help you answer that question. I will give you a number of fun questions with which you are guaranteed to keep the conversation going, and with which you can learn more about each other in a fun way. I will discuss the following questions in this article:
- What is the best gift someone has ever given you?
- Do you like to travel?
- Do you believe in aliens?
- What kind of food do you like?
- What is your ideal man?
- What is your weirdest trait?|
- What is your favorite artist?
Question 1: What is the best gift someone has ever given you?
This question is very suitable for a Tinder conversation, for several reasons. First, let her put in a little bit of effort through this question. She probably does not immediately know the answer to this question and will have to think about it for a while. In general, women like it when they have to put in a little effort for you and therefore find you more attractive. [Read: 5 mistake men make with women]
Men aren’t the only ones who like the hunt.
Second, this is secretly a very personal question, although it doesn’t seem personal. This makes it seem like you are having a casual conversation. But actually, her favorite gift will reveal a lot about her interests and what is important to her. In this way, you get to know more about her in an accessible way, and the topics of conversation become increasingly personal and intimate.
Question 2: Do you like to travel?
Studies have shown that wanderlust is one of the most common reasons for relationships to end. One partner wants to travel all over the world, while the other wants to slow down and settle down somewhere. Ultimately, it turns out that the two see their lives so differently that the relationship has no future. For that reason alone, it is good to know the answer to this question.
A globetrotter and an inner fatter simply do not go together.
But this question is also very suitable for keeping a conversation going. It is not a simple yes-or-no question, but actually, something that she can do something with. You can then talk about the places you have all been, or where you would like to go again.
If that turns out to be somewhat similar, you also give her the idea that there may be a future in this. This makes her take you more seriously as a possible partner.
Moreover, you also indirectly discover all kinds of other interests of hers. You can deduce a lot from her travel goals:
- Whether she likes nature or cities
- Whether she’s more into culture or just parties
- Whether she is looking for the hustle and bustle or taking things a bit easier
These are all things that are very useful to know and that you can ask about!
Question 3: Do you believe in aliens?
This is a good question to start a conversation with because it is actually more of a starting shot for a discussion. Whether you believe the same thing or not, you probably both have your arguments for it. This ensures that you can have a conversation about this for a longer period of time. This is why discussions are ideal for Tinder.
Of course, this does not apply to all discussions. You want to keep it fun and light, especially if you’ve just met someone. That is why it is better not to immediately enter into discussions about religion or political preference. These are topics that people have very strong opinions about, and where disagreements can quickly turn into arguments, and of course, you don’t want that. [Read: How to start a conversation with a woman]
Discussions are fun, arguments are not.
In a conversation about aliens, you do not have that problem, because there are (usually) no ideological or religious aspects attached to it. An exception is, for example, when someone does not believe in aliens because it is inconsistent with their beliefs. If that is the case, you should respond respectfully, and then it is better to steer the conversation in a different direction; you are probably not ready for faith discussions.
Question 4: What kind of food do you like?
This is an ideal question if you don’t have a topic to talk about for a while, because (almost) everyone has an answer to this. Most people know exactly what they like and can talk about it for a long time; After all, you have been eating all your life. That way you still have something to talk about before you need a new topic of conversation.
You can talk about food for hours without the chance to offend anyone.
Another advantage of this question is that it gives you an opening to go a little further. For example, if she has told you what she likes, you can suggest cooking it for her. Or you can say that you know a good restaurant for that and whether she might want to go there with you. Of course, you shouldn’t do this too quickly, but if you’ve been talking for a while, that’s not a bad idea at all.
Question 5: What is your ideal man?
Many men are afraid to ask such questions because they are afraid that they cannot live up to that image. In reality, however, this usually works out very differently. Asking a woman to describe her ideal man is ideal for starting a bit of a flirty conversation. This way you can make it clear that you are interested in someone romantically and/or sexually. [Read: Easy way to find a girlfriend]
You will often notice that she adjusts her ideal male image a bit to you. If her ideal man suddenly starts to show a lot of your characteristics, you can deduce that she likes you. By asking her this question, you give her an easy and accessible way to make this clear to you.
You can also apply this trick to her the other way around, by making your ideal woman look a little more like her.
Plus, you can respond to her description in a flirty way. It is better not to say that you have a six-pack, or that you can last for hours in bed: that comes across as boastful and unbelievable. You can do better with a little self-mockery, for example by saying that you recently did ten push-ups and that you needed an hour to recover.
This way you show that you have humor, and by comparing yourself to her ideal man you hint that you are interested in fulfilling that position.
Question 6: What is your strangest quality?
This question is again a very accessible way to let her reveal herself. Naming your weirdest trait doesn’t sound like something very personal, but it secretly tells you a lot about someone. That way you get to know her better in a way that comes across as very natural, and not as if you want to write a book about her with boring facts.
On Tinder, you only see someone’s best qualities, so ask about something else.
In addition, this question is slightly uncomfortable, but in a fun way. She won’t feel terribly burdened if you ask this. She has to be a little bit vulnerable to give you the answer because she might be embarrassed about it. This makes for a more personal, intimate conversation, which is of course great if you’re hooking up on someone. [Read: Dangers of falling in love hopelessly]
Question 7: What is your favorite artist?
The music people love is one of the most personal things out there. You probably like certain music because it affects you on an emotional level, so there is enough to talk about for a long and make your Tinder conversation interesting. So it doesn’t hurt to ask her about her favorite artist.
You will not only be able to have long conversations with this, but you will also get to know your match personally. Having these types of conversations will also make her look at you differently, and likely feel more connected to you. It is important that you actually ask follow-up questions to continue on this topic, and not continue with another topic once she has mentioned a band.
Bonus tip: which questions you should absolutely not start a conversation with
You now know with which questions you can keep a conversation going, but I would also like to give you a tip about the kinds of questions that you absolutely should not ask at the beginning of a conversation. A lot of people think these questions are good openers, but they definitely aren’t. I’m talking about questions like these:
- How old are you?
- Where do you live?
- How are you?
- What kind of work do you do?
These kinds of questions may sound interesting, but they also sound rather boring. They are actually the standard questions you ask someone out of courtesy, not the kind of questions you ask someone you like. Nobody likes a boring conversation, so if you start your conversation with such a question, chances are that your match will think “never mind” and won’t say anything back.
Moreover, these are very closed questions. Most of these questions can be answered in one sentence, and after that, there is really nothing more to say about it. That is of course not good if you want to start a conversation.
You then have to ask a new question after each sentence, making the conversation more of an interview.
This way you never get a nice conversation, and you never really get to know each other. You learn more about someone by having a normal conversation than by these kinds of boring questions.
Later in the conversation, it is of course fine to ask these kinds of things sideways. Ultimately, these are things you want to know about someone. At some point, it’s a bit weird when you don’t know how old someone is. At the beginning, however, you should stick to more interesting questions and save these types of questions for later.