If you’ve just gotten out of a relationship, it makes sense if you’re experiencing intense feelings. You may be very sad or angry because she broke up, you may be feeling guilty for breaking her heart, or you may be so used to being in a relationship with her that you become totally confused.
In order to sort out and process all of these emotions, it is important to take the time to do this, and not jump headlong into a new relationship. You don’t want a new relationship to break down just because you are still working with your ex in your head. But how do you know exactly when it is time for a new relationship?
Signal 1: You look at other women again
When you first broke up with your ex, you probably didn’t want a new relationship right away, and there is a good chance that you were completely done with women at all.
But at some point, you will notice that you will do this again. An attractive woman walks by, and you think for a moment to yourself, “Well, she’s pretty”. You wonder why you think that is a strange thought, and then you suddenly realize that you haven’t thought this in ages. This is a sign that you may be ready for a new relationship.
If your subconscious says you can look for a woman again, then it is usually right.
Your brain is telling you it’s okay to look out for a woman in order to get back to your love life again. It is best to just listen to this.
Signal 2: You are no longer jealous of your ex
It doesn’t matter who broke up with the relationship: if it is over between you and your ex after a long time, it is perfectly normal to have to deal with feelings of jealousy afterward. Not because your ex necessarily has a much better life than you, but because you don’t like to think that your ex might find a new boyfriend again.
If you hear that your ex has been out with someone else, or if you see your ex walking around town with another man, you don’t feel comfortable with it. You feel jealous of your ex because she has a better love life than you, but secretly also a bit like that other man, because you feel like your ex still belongs to you. [Read: How to handle test from women]
When you no longer have this feeling, it is a sign that you are really over your ex, and that you are ready to throw yourself completely on someone else. If you can envision your ex with someone else without feeling annoyed about it, then it’s probably time to start a new relationship yourself.
Signal 3: You are not constantly looking for distraction
Since you broke up with your ex, chances are you didn’t want to be alone with your thoughts. Whenever you had nothing to do or were alone, your thoughts ran wild, and you only thought about your ex or your relationship. This made you sad or angry, which is why you really never wanted to be alone.
To achieve this, you continuously looked for distractions everywhere. You try to keep yourself so busy that you hardly have time for yourself, and when you do, you start calling people or turning on the television: not because you feel yourself, but purely because you don’t want to have to think, because you know what happens then.
You should want a new girlfriend because you like her, not because she’s distracting you from your ex.
If you stop looking for distraction all the time, and can just be alone for a while without having to think about your ex, then that is a signal that you are on the right track, and that you can probably carefully try to see if a new relationship is something for you.
Signal 4: You are no longer actively looking for a relationship
It is a well-known cliché that you will only find love when you are no longer actively looking for it. Another well-known cliché is that most clichés are only cliché because they are also true. In this case, both of these clichés hold some truth: the truth is, if you’re not actively looking for a new relationship, you’re probably ready for a relationship.
I don’t mean that you are interested in women; this is, as I explained in the first signal, a very good sign. What I do mean by that is that you no longer have the idea that you have to get back into a new relationship as soon as possible, and therefore desperately scour clubs, bars, dating sites, and Tinder looking for some kind of “replacement” for your ex. [Read: How to start an easy conversation with a woman]
A relationship for the sake of a relationship never lasts.
If you want to start a new relationship, it must be because you want a relationship with a particular person you like, and not because you necessarily want a relationship. Once you are no longer desperate for a new relationship, you are probably ready to move into a new, healthy relationship.
Signal 5: You feel happy again
After a breakup, you can have a lot of feelings, but one feeling that almost no one will have is happiness. Most people are in a sad mood most of the time after breaking up a relationship. That doesn’t always mean that you don’t like anything, or that you can’t laugh about anything anymore, but it means that you will soon be back to your previous, lifeless mood.
At a certain point, however, you will notice that things are going better in that area. You wake up happier again, maybe you whistle on your way to work again, and you just notice that you feel a lot better overall. This is of course great in itself, but it is also a sign that you are ready for a new relationship.
When you are happy again, that is a signal from your subconscious that you can do without your ex again. This is of course essential if you want to start a new relationship. Plus, it will help if you want to get back to hooking up with women, as few women will fall for depressed-looking men. [Read: How to stay away from friend-zone]
Signal 6: You are no longer afraid of being rejected
A breakup in a relationship is almost always accompanied by a lot of pain, often for the person who broke up. Pain is a very unpleasant emotion to which your brain reacts violently. The brain often tries to avoid any kind of new pain. People who have experienced severe pain will often spend some time fearful of taking risks.
Mental pain and physical pain may seem like different things, but they are exactly the same to your brain.
This also applies to people who have suffered pain in the area of love. If you’ve gone through a painful break-up, you will probably subconsciously become more afraid of being rejected by women. This makes you less likely to approach women, and you find it more scary than usual to start a conversation with them.
This is something that normally just goes away, and if it does, it’s a very good sign. If you are no longer afraid (or at least not more afraid than before) of being rejected by women, it is a good sign that you are mentally ready to start a new relationship.
Signal 7: You allow other women into your life
If you start dating again too soon after a relationship has ended, you will realize it’s hard to allow your date into your life. But if you have been dating her for some time and feel like you are not afraid to let her into your life, Then it is a sign that you are ready for a new relationship. You can introduce her to your friends.
Men who are not ready for a new relationship are not good at this. They prefer to keep the women in their lives separate from the rest of their lives. For example, they will often actively try to keep their friends and the woman they are dating separately.
In a relationship, you have to build bridges, not walls.
If you had the urge of blocking your date from your life at first, but not anymore, then many relationship experts and therapists say that this is a sign that you can start a healthy relationship again. You are again able to fully allow someone into your life, which is the basis for any successful relationship.
Signal 8: You no longer think about your ex all the time
This may be a bit of an open door. However, because it is such an essential signal that is often ignored, I think it would be good to mention this. If you are still constantly thinking about your ex, then this is not a good sign. You’re not over her, and then it’s a particularly bad idea to dive into a new relationship.
By this, I don’t just mean that as soon as you are alone for a moment, you constantly think about your ex and your relationship. By this, I also mean that you are reminded of your ex by everything in your environment. When you come to a certain place or space, your thoughts immediately jump to the times you were there with your ex, and when you look at a piece of clothing, all you can think about is how beautiful or ugly your ex is.
This is very annoying, but it will diminish and eventually disappear. Once you stop thinking about your ex too often, you will likely be emotionally ready for a new relationship with someone else. If you’re unsure whether you should start a new relationship, it’s probably because you’re still thinking about your ex too much. [Read: Interesting questions to ask a woman on Whatsapp]
If you have to ask yourself if you are ready for a new relationship, chances are you are not yet.
I hope that with this article you can determine if you are ready to start a new adventure with someone else, or if you still need some time to get over your ex. A new relationship is great fun, but only if you are ready for it yourself.